WHAT TYPE OF MOTHER IN-LAW IS YOUR MOTHER IN-LAW?
Have you ever looked at your partner and thought about the type of mother in-law you are going to have or do we overlook that until we experience it. Some say the don’t care but only care about their partner but I think its very important to know the family you are getting married to. Mother in-laws in my opinion are supposed to be as perfect as our moms or someone who you look up to as a mother figure, and someone who will treat you like her own child, but not all of them are the same. They are 3 types that I have seen
Sweet mother in law….
She accepts you in the family as one of her own children, treats you well, thinks you are the best partner for his soon, respects you and your values including your family background. Genuinely smiles and loves you for who you are, and will always remember your birthday, and get you gifts when necessary.
Will only visit you on invitation or will inform you before visiting, she will look after the kids without asking for anything in return and will give you your privacy when needed. Your opinion counts.
Will always be willing to listen and will never take sides and will give you the best advise or an input when necessary.
She lets you be….
You can sit and have a girls talk and you are not afraid to approach her, you like hanging out with her, trips to your husband family are pleasant, you don’t have to worry about the tight pants or short skirts or being over dressed, she treats you like her own daughter
Oh the best is to have a mother in-law that drinks, then you get to share a glass or two with her. They are the best, never complains, always happy and always looking forward to seeing her drinking buddy…
Busy Body mother in law
Not to be trusted, you always think she loves you and you think she is the best mother in-law ever. When she sees you she smiles and gives you a big hug, says all the right things, and even compliments you, in all honest she is a face pleaser, once you turn you back….hmmm
This woman is a gossiper (maditaba), knows every bodies business and what’s happening with all her neighbours and children, she is friends with everyone, takes gossip from one neighbour to another or from one family to another, but no one sees this through her.
She will allow her son to bring a mistress (makhwapheni) or introduce someone else, and will treat them very well, she keeps all her sons secrets, it’s all about her son, whatever her son does she is in full support. She will go all out to please her soon even introducing herself to the makhwapheni’s (mistress) family and will also talk bad about you with the mistress. She has the mistress number on speed dial and accepts gifts from her.
She calls you when she needs something, or needs a favor from you, she says all the right things, when you complain about her son, she will dismiss it by saying man are like that don’t worry or I will talk to him, which never happens. To her, her son is Mr perfect or she merely doesn’t care.
This mother in law is the type that you only find out after years of marriage about everything that’s been happening behind you back, the mistress, the lies and the backstabbing or should I say you find out who she really is when her soon dies, then you get to see her true colors. She only likes you if you have something to offer to her, you need to kiss her ass.
My advice with this type of mother in law is to kill her with kindness, you know what they say about bring your friends close and your enemies closer.
Mother in law from hell
When you first met her she didn’t greet you and she even gave you a dirty look, and will not talk to you, unless she has to. Once you are married to her son, she still doesn’t accept as part of the family.
She will make your life as makoti hell, when they is visitors or you are at any family functions, she will throw in bad comments or be sarcastic, she will do anything to make you feel bad and not wanted, she will show off in front of other family members and will always make you work more than anyone else.
She brainwashes your husband against you and all other family members, she will visit all the other family members homes but would not come to yours or when she visits she wants to be in control or will want to be given first class treatment. She expects an allowance every month from her son’s salary.
She always believes you have bewitched her son or you are bewitching her not to succeed or to bring division in the family. She is always suspicious of your moves and won’t want to eat anything from you unless she sees you preparing it. She always thinks of you as an enemy
If you have to live with her for some reason, you are in trouble, she will make sure you know who’s house it is, you can’t sleep after a certain time, you have to be the first one to wake up in the morning before she does, she expects you to perform the role of a maid. If it happens that you over sleep guess what she will make sure she disturbs you until you wake up. She will have long conversations about you on the phone with her friends. She will bad mouth you as much as she can.
If it happens her soon is sick and you don’t inform her she will tell people you are trying to kill him.
She will only go all out for her daughters children but not her sons children because of you.
Trouble comes when her son dies before you, God forbid this, but she will stir up trouble from all direction, she will want to repossess everything.
I remember a while ago, a friends uncle died, he was still young and the bride was young too, as soon as the family found out the son has died, after two days they demanded the bank accounts and moved the funeral to the parents house, as mourners where coming in and paying their condolences, all the contributions where being taken by the mother in-law, what was worse was the mistress or should I say concubine was allowed to pay her condolences including driving the family to the mortuary and it seemed like the mother in-law knew her very well and liked her more than her daughter in-law, she was highly talked about and while makoti was treated like she was the enemy. The day of the funeral came, immediately after the funeral the family called a meeting, at the meeting the mother inlaw told makoti that whatever joined them together is no more, and she should hand over the house keys, car keys and all the bank account her son owned……
This type of mother in law, is the one that no one wishes for. You need to be strong at heart and have zero tolerance, its worse if you don’t have support from your husband….
What type of mother in-law is yours? Or do you know of anyone going through a bad experience with their mother in-laws or are having a great relationship, send your story to firstname.lastname@example.org